Our "coffee" ended up being a smoothie, walk for 2+hours, dinner, chat at my place, summer beachside festival, and some more hanging out. All told it took 9hrs. ... long coffee eh?
Although I'm not sure, I think I blew it again. This time it wasn't me just not noticing (although I didn't have a little birdie telling me where I f-ed up), I intentionally wasn't aggressive. I guess it's just not my way.
She's standing on my deck, wrapped in a blanket because she's cold and watching the throngs of people go by as they leave (I live very close to this beach festival). I come up behind her, basically hugging her and ... and ... stand there, just chatting.
Allow me to explain, this girl is an ass-kicker; one of those super cool, always on the go, up for doing stuff and genuinely enjoys life kind of people. I really like that. It's just so different than me, my personality, my family and my upbringing. Generally I like people like this - having it be an absolute cutie is just that extra bonus.
The problem is that the qualities I like in a girl like this make me incredibly scared when it could even possibly, maybe, kinda, sorta approach anything smelling of intimacy. I don't want to put her off, as either too aggressive or too gently. And that leads me to the issues surrounding my relative *ahem* experience.
The purpose of going to that level is one of mutual pleasure and satisfaction. I've got to hold up my end of that bargain, and I don't want to disappoint.
Oh and the real kicker is that she is fresh out of major knee surgery now. So she's on some pretty intense painkillers (and doing physically well thank you) and is admittedly pretty stoned due to these drugs. So how much of the vibe she's giving off is due to the drugs, and how much is really her. I can't tell as I haven't known her long enough to have any kind of baseline.
How the evening ended was with us chatting, her basically throwing the blanket at me (was she being sarcastic about it?), then me walking her home. I got the nice, friendly -lame as fuck- hug. Great! (not)
Oh great, she texted me this morning to see how the nearby parade was going. So I'm still top of mind. goddamnmutherfuckingsonofabitch Idon'tgetthis arrrggghhhh.
OK then, we heard the whistling theme from Kill Bill last night. She mentioned she hadn't seen it in a while. So what am I doing now? Why downloading it to give her a copy of course.
The goal is to use this as proof that I was paying attention and remembered what she said and was thinking of her at a time when we weren't together. Good plan right? They why do I feel like I'm still in high-school, not 10 years out?
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